Apr 30, 2015

Levity: Wake Up An Hour Earlier, So You Can Make Yourself Girlier

You know that one Drake song...the one where he says with a straight face: "sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on, that's when you're the prettiest, I hope you don't take that wrong"

Yeah, I kind of take it wrong, Wheelchair Jimmy. 

Maybe I get all in my lady feelings about this sort of thing, but I always find when dudes say this they are full of bunk, because what they really mean is they want you to look like you "woke up like this". Where the sweatpants don't have Doritos Nacho Cheese stains on them, where your face is free of foundation and eye corner crud, but is showing off that ~natural beauty~ of mascara, nude lipstick, and blush. Where you look like you jumped off the pages of the sleepwear and lingerie section in a Victoria Secret catalog. Okay, maybe I'm being harsh, because women do it each other too, as I remember this one flake of an acquaintance telling me once that I looked "strange and different" when I rocked make-up, and then when she saw me without make-up she told me I looked like "myself" but "sick"? 

So gila monster with make-up, and gila monster without make-up? Gotcha.

For unexplained reasons I have been lukewarm towards comedienne Amy Schumer. I noticed her and well, that was it. Well, she's got my undivided attention now as her One Direction parody, "Girl, You Don't Need Make-Up" is a stupendous and hilarious examination of the strange passive-aggressive behavior some people fall into whenever they try to tell a woman how she should (or shouldn't) fix her face. I love how in this one video she jabs hard at the subtext of boy band songs of my youth that paraded this sort of "you look good just they way you are, but..." diatribe, while making an astute observation of how women feel under the male gaze. Just fantasmical. And to top it, it's a damn catchy little ditty too that tosses out hilarious lines like "wake up an hour earlier, so you can make yourself girlier" and "think of a clown and work your way back". I also love how they have a Justin Timberlake/Justin Guarani-look alike wedged in there...just so perfect.

And remember ladies and gents...people wear make-up for a lot of different reasons, and a majority of us wear it not because we're trying to impress our beaus and bosses --- we wear it because we LIKE IT.


  1. Jen, I am so glad you wrote this! I cannot tell you how much it bothers my soul that people (men and women alike) insist that women wear makeup for the sole purpose of trying to attract men. Not only is that a simple-minded view, but it's also heterosexist and not true for every single woman who chooses to wear makeup. Personally, I wear makeup for a variety of reasons (e.g. to make myself look prettier according to my beauty standards; to cover blemishes; to enhance parts of my face that I like and want to call attention to (like my lips); to look cute and alive when I go out of the house; etc.). Ugh, why do men get to call the shots about who's beautiful and when women are their most beautiful? (Don't answer that.) This post reminds me of a tweet that Janelle MonĂ¡e wrote a few weeks ago. She got that dude right on together...


    1. So true Drea!

      It is super heterosexist and you covered all the reasons why I love and wear make-up, esp. to look cute and alive when I go out of the house :-) There was a really great video I saw awhile back where a girl who had really bad adult acne found confidence in herself again by applying make-up. As an adult acne sufferer myself, I appreciated her saying that that's what helped her cope, esp. for all the times I've heard that make-up makes acne worst and one shouldn't wear it. And girl, I ALWAYS want to ask that question, lol...when did men get to call the shots on women's beauty? I was glad Amy Schumer did this b/c people need to re-think about make-up and the real usage of it.

      I also love that clapback tweet from Janelle Monae, she read that clown for filth, and I laughed when he backed down. Typical, lol.

      Thanks for your comment!