Apr 30, 2015

Levity: Wake Up An Hour Earlier, So You Can Make Yourself Girlier


You know that one Drake song...the one where he says with a straight face: "sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up on, that's when you're the prettiest, I hope you don't take that wrong"

Yeah, I kind of take it wrong, Wheelchair Jimmy. 

Maybe I get all in my lady feelings about this sort of thing, but I always find when dudes say this they are full of bunk, because what they really mean is they want you to look like you "woke up like this". Where the sweatpants don't have Doritos Nacho Cheese stains on them, where your face is free of foundation and eye corner crud, but is showing off that ~natural beauty~ of mascara, nude lipstick, and blush. Where you look like you jumped off the pages of the sleepwear and lingerie section in a Victoria Secret catalog. Okay, maybe I'm being harsh, because women do it each other too, as I remember this one flake of an acquaintance telling me once that I looked "strange and different" when I rocked make-up, and then when she saw me without make-up she told me I looked like "myself" but "sick"? 

So gila monster with make-up, and gila monster without make-up? Gotcha.

For unexplained reasons I have been lukewarm towards comedienne Amy Schumer. I noticed her and well, that was it. Well, she's got my undivided attention now as her One Direction parody, "Girl, You Don't Need Make-Up" is a stupendous and hilarious examination of the strange passive-aggressive behavior some people fall into whenever they try to tell a woman how she should (or shouldn't) fix her face. I love how in this one video she jabs hard at the subtext of boy band songs of my youth that paraded this sort of "you look good just they way you are, but..." diatribe, while making an astute observation of how women feel under the male gaze. Just fantasmical. And to top it, it's a damn catchy little ditty too that tosses out hilarious lines like "wake up an hour earlier, so you can make yourself girlier" and "think of a clown and work your way back". I also love how they have a Justin Timberlake/Justin Guarani-look alike wedged in there...just so perfect.

And remember ladies and gents...people wear make-up for a lot of different reasons, and a majority of us wear it not because we're trying to impress our beaus and bosses --- we wear it because we LIKE IT.

Apr 29, 2015

Muse: On Getting Over Procrastination...Later

Benjamin Franklin's daily schedule. Showoff.
There is a quote that I've been seeing a lot of on the 'net that has given me a slight twitch. It reads: "You have as many hours as Beyonce."

Um, yeah, about that....

It's easy to be flippant about time when you're talking about a person who has gobs of money and a team of minions working to make things go as fanciful and fabricated for them as possible. Though I'm in the minority that is convinced that Beyonce is like that android in Men In Black --- you know the one, where they open its face and inside there is a little alien operating the controls --- I still dislike that quote. It maybe harmless and petty (and maybe my aversion towards Beyonce is showing...) but it just sounds...arrogant, superior in its tone because you don't know my life, and you don't know my struggle with time management.

As I'm at the jagged edge of my '20s, time management is something I thought I'd get the hang of by now. I should know that when my phone alarm sounds at 8:00 in the morning, that I need to get my ass up and run the list of to-do's in my brain while I brush my teeth. Yet, I roll over and it's 9:00...9:30...10:00, and then I'm up and rushing, and putting off projects and responsibilities, being just way behind on everything. Being on a fine-tuned schedule is something that I wish I could be on. It's actually something I'm supposed to be on considering that I have things to write, errands to run, social media to engage in, and Bubble Witch Saga 2 to dominate. Every start to a new month, I tell myself to get on some sort of routine. I rattle off in my head, "Okay, Jen, this upcoming month you're going to go to bed before 2am. You're going to have all your posts for the week completed and ready to be queued. You're going to write one full chapter and be done with these so-called "novels" before the end of the year." Yet by midnight, I'm like "screw it, let's just Pinterest and Netflix the night away! Weeeee!" and I'm further off-balance.

I hurt myself.

Apr 17, 2015

Muse: What If We Love Black People As Much As We Love Black Culture?


Sometimes when I come across cultural appropriating issues whether it be fashion editorial spreads gone wrong or anyone with the code name of Igloo Australia, I admit to finding the situation hopeless to explain especially when said issues come up in mixed company. Some aren't listening. Some take defense. Some believe that it's a personal diss towards the individual, and not what the individual is actively doing that is inappropriate. Some just roll their eyes and believe you're overreacting. All of it just becomes too exhausting to contend to after awhile and thus, I tap out and keep the thoughts to myself. Still mum I shouldn't be as cultural appropriating is an issue, a B-I-G one, and if undetected it becomes easier for us all to pass it off as "normal" behavior when it's far from that.

Maybe next time whenever I find myself combating with small-minded folk, I'll directed them to actress Amandla Stenberg's nuanced breakdown of culture appropriation and the historical and sociological context behind it.

Apr 8, 2015

Trinkets: Golden Girl


For the longest time I used to be a silver girl. Silver jewelry girl that is. All through high school I wore nothing but silver hoops, necklaces, rings --- even my watch had to be drenched in chrome. You'd think I was allergic to gold by the way I avoided wearing jewelry of that kind, but for some odd reason, I just kept turning my nose up to anything that shimmered 14 karat.

Oookay. Actually I'm telling a teeny-weeny fib --- I did have some gold jewelry growing up. It was mostly gifted, heirloom stuff from my grandmothers that made me look like a baby Liberace whenever I wore it. Gaudy sparkly stuff that was too potent, even for me. Also attached to this jewelry was the stern responsibility of owning and wearing something that was ~*sacred*~ to the family. You know the whole "Great Aunt Millie sweated over cotton and took 50 lashes from massa to get this! So you better keep it you ungrateful git!" type of guilt trip.

Gold jewelry = guilt trip jewelry = me being scared off of even wearing it :-(

But then...something happened...I began buying gold jewelry, gathering up a nice little cache of it. I should say it's majorly "gold" jewelry, as it is costume, but better costume fare as none of the pieces that I own have made my neck look I was getting hickies from the Jolly Green Giant (well...yet).
Now it seems that I buy more gold jewelry than ever before, with my beloved silver now taking a backseat, and well, it just goes to show that we all go through phases as we get older and our tastes change.

In these last couple of months I've collected a substantial amount of gold "medals" and figured I'd share, and with summer on the come up and knowing that gold jewelry makes even the sweatiest drenched tank top look fabulous, taking a gander at some of my current favorite pieces might spark some inspiration for you to get your gold rush on this season.

Apr 7, 2015

Dream Wardrobe: The Blazing Style Of Esther Quek


As I near my 30s (*gulp*) I feel that I'm failing at having a signature "look". The "look" that when I walk by DeBarge's "You Wear It Well" plays and everybody knows that it is Jennifer Time© and to soak it in. Okay...lemme step out of my own private movie montage for a sec...maybe I do have a "look" and I just don't realize it, because one sweep into my closet you'll see lots of stripes, dark blue skinny jeans, flats in all colors and styles, and --- to some degree --- a collection of scarves that are almost too pretty to don and almost impractical considering southern Texas' penchant for heat, heat, and more heat.

Most women I know from my mother to the besties have that one signature article of clothing, bauble, or even a distinctive fragrance that let's everybody know that when they walk into a room they have arrived. Fashion "rules" dictate that you're supposed to have a handful of basic and essential items in your closet to complete or enhance any look, and one such item is a blazer. Still, no "rules" could have told me that blazers were essential, as I've been drawn to them since high school back when I got a little obsessed with the '80s blazer style in films like Pretty In Pink and Working GirlAside from '80s film romps, if I want massive blazer/two-piece suit game inspiration for these modern times, I look no further than towards Esther Quek, who slays executive realness each and every time you see her.